Wowness

Okay I just so made up that word. I had a lot of things happen today. I had been toying with the idea of L@p B@nd for a while now. I finally called a surgeon to get the whole process going. I gave them all my info and my insurance and everything. They will call back on Tuesday to let me know what my insurance requires before hand. My insurance is great because all I will have to pay out of pocket is $100-300, as far as I know. Which is freakin great. The only down side is that I have to travel about 4 hours away to have the surgery done. I guess I better start saving some more money huh? I also had a orthodontic consultation today. I need braces. Ha big surprise. It doesn't bother me though. I'm not upset about it. As long as it helps my teeth and it good for me then I want them. Anyhoo, I got my transcript in the mail from my high school. I need my college transcript now. Then all I need for my appilcation is to finish my classes and get the background check done.

On another subject, H and I have been having some problems with him having a problem with me studying all the time. I told him before I started back to school that I was gonna be studying a lot. I guess he didn't believe me or something because we argue a lot now. I go to school at 9 and get out at 1200. I usually study from the time I get out until 3. I come home, I get on the computer and study for my online class. I then get supper ready and then I study some more. I hardly ever study with anyone else when H is home. I watch a little bit of T.V. and then study some more then go to bed. On the days I work I study as much as I can at work. My friend T is the biggest drama queen you will ever meet. I have class with him and he is single with no commitments and wants to study 24/7. I just can't do that. I do study a lot though. I am making a good grade in my classes too. So I think I am doing good. But I just wish H wouldn't be so "old fashion" I guess is what I can use? I don't know. He just gets so frustrated and upset sometimes over nothing and I don't know what to tell him. If I tell him the truth he gets mad, if I tell him a lie he gets mad when he finds out I lied.

We have to put off the clomid until a year after I have the surgery. That sucks, but I guess its better in the long run for me and the baby. I just wish I didn't have to wait so long. That means that I will be 22 or 23 before I have a baby. Wow that seems like so far away.

Anyway I guess I 'm done relieving myself of all this information now.

Well when it rains it f***in pours

Okay so not ony did I found out that my round of clomid didn't work, I also found out that one of my co-workers is pregnant. Yay! NOT! That is all she is talking about too. I can't even stand to look at her. It was her little "accident"! I am so pissed that I cried! I cried at work and I cried when I got home and told H about it. I am okay now but it still hurts. I didn't like her in the beginning because she is completely incompetent and is not a good nurse and is the most annoying person I think I have ever met. I was being nice to her and I still should be but it is so hard not to have hard feelings toward her. Its like she just keeps rubbing in my face. I have no clue how far along she is but I really don't care. I am just ranting and raving. I will get over it I guess, eventually. I just don't know how to feel about it. But anyway I will stop and get back to work now. Till I post again!

Damn those OPK's

I called again this morning, the nurse was gone for the day already at 10:30. So i left a message and the doctor called me back. Of course I missed it so he left a message. Apparently the damn OPK's were wrong. I didn't ovulate. So we all know what that means. Im not pregnant. So all of the money I spent on HPT's these last two weeks was a waste. I'm really sad and disappointed. So I guess that just means another round, he wants to go up to 100 mg of Clomid. I guess I'm gonna say okay. So now I have to come up with the money to get those, he's gonna call them in. I have to call him back to confirm but yeah. So another month another round. I think i'm gonna go cry now.

Damn It

Okay so my test results are back. Do I know the results? Why hell no! I called this morning aroun 11:30 am. The nurse (I love my doctor but his nurse could use some compasion) told me that the doctor was looking over the results deciding what to do and then she would call me back. Well as you can tell, it is now 3:15 and still no phone call. I am really gettin anxious. I am trying so hard to save that last test. Its a CBE digital. I really want to test. I actually feel the same today that I did yesterday. A little more tired and nauseous. I have a few food aversions, cheetos. I can't even stand to type the name. It makes me want to gag. The smell and even the look of them. If they don't call me before 4:30. Im gonna call them back again. I am trying to be patient, but my nurse I guess just doesn't understand what those results can do to my life. They can change it completely!!!!! I am driving myself crazy. I can't concentrate on my work or my homework. Damn it!

11 Days

Okay I am now 11 DPO. I am going freakin nuts! I have been feeling like sh*t. I am extremely tired, I am nauseous, I am starving, I am bloated, I feel twinges and "pulling" in my pelvic area. I am moody and a couple days ago I had a sore throat, however it wasnt like a usual sore throat, it was like the lymph nodes were swollen. I just can't stay awake. I was trying to study last night and I was nodding off around 1130, 1200 at night. That is so unusual for me. I am usually willing to stay up forever. Then I woke up this morning to study and I was still so tired that I went back to sleep and then I was almost late for school. I just dont know. I am a testing freak and I have taken 4 HPT's now. Of course they were all negative. I have one more but I'm gonna try to save it for as long as I can. I had my blood drawn monday afternoon. I am dying for the results. I want to know if all the stuff I'm experiencing is psychological or actual pregnancy symptoms. I know that the first cycle usually doesnt work. But I am hoping and hoping and praying and praying. The doctor said that the results would prolly be here later today or tomorrow. I am trying to study for class but its hard to concentrate. I am exhauseted and I can't study because I am worried about the results. Uggggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, I just had to get that out of my system. I will post the results of my lab work if I get it back today.

Okay Confusing

Alrighty then, I am now 2 DPO. I was taking the OPK's and I didn't even realize it but the stick was the darkest on the 6th. So yeah, I am wondering if anyone knows how soon you can experience symptoms. I really feel just weird and I'm not sure if it is sleep deprivation or if I'm getting sick. I really hope it cuz Im PG though. I will go in on the 15th like I said to get my blood drawn. So yeah I got off work at 8am and then went to school and now I'm tired so I will blog later if I can.

Trying to keep up

So yeah I can't post when H is at home because he doesnt know about the blog. I am sleeping most all the time on the weekends when I'm not working nights. During the day on the weekdays I am going to school and studying. Busy Busy Busy. That's all I am anymore. But yeah I am not liking that Progesterone and the Clomid, they made me gain 5-8 pounds. That sucks. But ya know if it ends end motherhood then I will never complain ever again. I am taking the OPK's but I haven't seen anything yet. I believe that I am on CD 13 or 14. I was told that that is when I am supposed to ovulate. So I am hoping for some good testing to be positive. I think I will even take a PG test before I go in to the doctor on the 15th. That will be my CD 21 or 22. Thats when he wanted me to go test. I am excited but trying not to get my hopes up too high. I dont want to be crushed again. I know its inevitable with IF but still. I think I will even buy another PG test. I have been feeling something going on down there in my abdominalpelvic area (had to be a smartass and use my A&P terms). It almost feels like movement and I know its not gas. It feels nothing like gas. But yeah I just thought since I had a minute at work that I would update real quick. I hope I ovulate. Fingers and toes crossed!