It's Been A While

Okay well a lot of stuff has happened since the last time I posted. We have moved to the NewCity. I am being seen by a doctor and for a while things looked like they were going to be okay. We are liveing with relatives and we all know how that can be. We are trying to find a house to either buy or rent. I have been in 2 fist fights (both where I was the victim) over really stupid and childish things. Well not only that, on May 19 I had an ultrasound that finally and truely confirmed that I have PCOS but it also showed cycts on my cervix as well. And it showed that I had a miscarriage that I didnt know about. Well, the day after that I started my period. A couple days later my doctor put me on Metformin and Spirolactone for the PCOS. Well we all know how wonderful a period can be for 5 days, try 30! After 21 days I called the doc and he called in B.C. for me. I started taking them and the bleeding finally stoped after 30 days! Well, woohooo I started bleeding again 4 days after I stoped! This time with awful awful cramps that in my gut I just knew something was wrong. I went to the ER of course they did nothing and then I went to my doc and they said I will have to have a D&C but not yet. Maybe within a week or so. I am so scared that I wont be able to have children! It will absolutley kill me. But IDK. I will write later when I get more time.

Dreams

Okay, really weird dream last night. My husband and I were at my ex's house. I have no freakin clue why. We had dinner then I went to the bathroom and my ex was in there. He said " S I really miss you. Please, I know we are both married but I love you. I know I never told you that before. Maybe I should have, but I want to be with you." I stood there in shock. He never once said anything remotely "romantic" the whole time we were together. He never said "I love you" or anything like it. I said "No S, I love my husband and you had your chance and you blew it. A part of me still loves you too and still longs for what we had, but I cant do anything, I made a commitment and I am going to stick to it. You should to!" I walked out and when I did my husband saw the S was in there with me, before I could explain he jumped to conclusions (I cant say that I wouldnt either) and they started argueing. I was gettin all hyped up just trying to get H and I out of there. Then H's ex-wife showed up! Aw buddy, all hell broke loose then. She started saying that she wanted ot be back with H and that she still loved him and she wanted them to have another baby and shit like that! I went off [see I can't stand his ex wife. I am pretty sure she doesnt like me either. she dresses like a prostitute and acts like shes 15 when she's really almost 40 and she doesnt give a damn about their kids]! I jumped on her and started punching the crap out of her face. I grabbed her hair and just started punching. It was like I couldnt control my rage. Right in the middle of the fight, S and H were trying to get me off of her, H actually woke me up.

The weird thing was, was that he was chatting on line with his ex-wife. Did I mention that I really cant stand her! He woke me up from my nice dream (lol he he he) and wanted me to look at some pictures that I could have looked at today. So basically in my opinion he woke me up for nothing.

On the other hand, I think my cycles might be going in a cycle. But they are very long. CD 1 of the second to last period I had was on May 30, 2007. Then I had another on December 30, 2007. But the last one wast like a normal period, it was very light for a period. It was kinda like heavy spotting. Only lasted about 3 or 4 days. Unlike the usual 7 -8 days. So I guess if I was to try and track it, I would be on CD 12. I dont know. Its so confusing. I know its probably all in my head, but I have been kinda constipated and nausea is awful, sense of smell is greater and cravings have been ridiculous! Its probably all in my head though.

But I guess I have said enough for this morning at least. If I have anymore to say I will write some more! =)

What a Happy New Year

Well, Happy New Year!

Yeah, I have been so bored it is literally not even funny. I never did find a temp job so I am stuck at home while H goes out and gets to work. My days are filled with internet and @ Baby Story and Bringing Home Baby, cleaning and packing, and nothingness. It sucks. Either this week or next our cable will be gone....OMG what am I gonna do without my Cable? Ha ha funny but not really. Internet will be gone too so unless I get to go to the library it will be a while before I am online again. But I am still gettin more and more excited. S still owes me some money so hopefully she will pay me back before we go. That would help out tremendously. But yeah, not much to say on this one, just thought I would stop by and say Happy New Year and write you next time I write.

Days until move: 18